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Author Archives: kathryndean2013

About kathryndean2013

Welcome to my blog! This has been a project in the works for a long time. I'm an English teacher who has been a stay-at-home-mom for 15 years. I always felt I should be reading and writing in order to better myself. I did lots of reading, but never seemed to find the time to write. Now back in the classroom teaching Literature and Writing, I'm discovering I thoroughly enjoy the writing process. This blog is a chance for me to write alongside my students and bring you all along on the journey to better writing.

Modern House-wifery

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My dishwasher died this week. It set off my PTSD caused by growing up in a family of eight without a dishwasher much of the time. Because of the piles of dishes created by eight people on a regular basis, and the late night dishwashing marathons to catch up, I have a serious attachment to my dishwasher. Not only that, I have a scientific method for loading it.

The science is this: the dishes that remain to be hand washed after the dishwasher is loaded is in direct proportion to my level of happiness. Therefore, everything that can be, is crammed into the dishwasher.

My husband does not agree with my theory…other than the happiness part. He seems to think that if you overload a dishwasher, the items don’t get clean enough. I have a scientific solution for that as well…run it again.

I seriously try to avoid hand washing dishes.at.all.cost.

But something strange has happened. As the kids and I (and the husband) have been hand washing dishes all week, I’ve found it rather pleasant at times. Something about my hands in the warm water, the smell of the soap, and chatting with one of my daughters while she dries the dishes has awakened a strange domestic feeling in me. It’s time spent together that wouldn’t normally happen. The rhythmic motion and running water is relaxing, and let’s face it, hard work is rewarding.

So maybe I won’t be in such a rush to get my dishwasher fixed. I’ll enjoy these moments of working together like our ancestors did without the modern convenience of a dishwasher. Although If my husband reads this, I may deny it. 🙂

 
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Posted by on January 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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New Year, New You?

I love all of the advertising and personal betterment goals this time of year. I’ve been invited to join countless Facebook challenges, and everywhere I look is a discounted gym membership or diet program. It makes sense, to be health conscious after Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s feasting, but if I haven’t disciplined myself towards these resolutions already in life, Jan 1, 20whatever will not be the magic date.

Last year, I wrote a post titled I make No Resolutions and I stand by that…mostly. I guess to be completely honest, I make private resolutions. Rarely do I need to wait until January to find areas to improve, but I suppose the New Year feels like a fresh start. So I set my reading goals, my writing goals, my fitness goals, my spiritual goals, and my family goals, but rarely share them with anyone. They aren’t resolutions. They are goals.

As I see the years tick by faster and faster, I realize that in order to make forward progress there needs to be constant evaluation and goal setting. In my teens, it was easy to see where I would be in ten years…college, then job, maybe family. In my 20’s and early 30’s I was raising young children. Now, where I am in ten years depends very much on the goals I set now. My family is growing up, and before I know it my primary responsibilities will be moving out and setting their own goals — one always hopes.

So as I head into 2015, I will not resolve to never eat sugar again, hit the gym every day, or never raise my voice…resolutions I know will be broken before January 3rd. But I will set goals to read more, write more, pray more, and love my family more knowing that these are achievable daily decisions that not only improve my life, but the lives of those I hold most dear. When New Year’s eve 2015 rolls around and I reflect back on the year, I know the time will not have been wasted.

I wish the same for you.

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Posted by on January 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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NaBloPoMo: Fail? Maybe not…

So…this is the end of National Blog Posting Month. And like all aspects of personal discipline, I didn’t quite reach my goal. But, was it a total failure? I think not.

FOUR THINGS I LEARNED from NaBloPoMo:

1. My blog is not a daily diary.

I don’t propose to have a daily purpose or daily recording on my blog. It was not natural to me to start a blog, “Day 12 of NaBloPoMo….” Therefore, I didn’t do it. The days when I really felt like I had nothing to say, I published content I was not proud of. So at some point I said, “Enough!” and didn’t post anything unless I wanted to.

2. I enjoy writing everyday, but don’t enjoy the pressure to publish everyday.

There were many days this month where I wrote and didn’t publish. If I had it to do all over again, I would be tempted to join NaNoWriMo. Then I would be increasing my word count and writing discipline without the pressure of people seeing it until I was ready.

3. I need to find a focus and purpose for my blog.

Publishing on my blog would not have been as difficult if I had a roadmap. I admire bloggers who have a schedule or theme such as Monday Matters, The Wednesday Word, Fun Links Friday, etc. I’m still searching for exactly what my blog will be, but this month has helped me see what it is not.

4. The more you write the more people read.

Those of you who have been blogging for a while might think this is a no-brainer, but I was surprised at how much my traffic increased this month. The more content and categories you have out there, the more chances for people to come across your blog. Also, publishing regularly gives my followers something to read and shows them I’m serious about my blog.

All in all it was not a total waste. I appreciated the pressure to a certain degree and the encouragement to write more regularly. I also enjoyed the NaBloPoMo community. Thanks for all your support!

Looking forward to next year.

In the meantime…I plan to keep writing. 🙂

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”

The start of school is stressful for me. Four children in four different schools and teaching in a fifth one is a lot to keep track of. Once we sprint past Halloween and the stores begin decking their halls for Christmas, my holiday spirit takes over and I’m ready to hunker down with books, puzzles, holiday music, and all of my favorite things to wait out the winter.

So much to love this time of year. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Holiday scents and candles – When the days grow shorter and colder, nothing warms my house faster than a scented candle.

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2. Starbucks – If the candle doesn’t work to warm me up, nothing screams holidays like a pumpkin spice latte or peppermint mocha. And who knew I would love this reusable cup so much?!

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3. Christmas Music – As you can see, I tend toward female vocalists. Celine is this year’s new holiday CD. And, yes. I’ve already started listening to it…before Thanksgiving.

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4. Holiday knitting projects – Or even just the opportunity to knit and crochet while relaxing with the relatives.

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And FINALLY my new favorite thing…I love this so much, I can’t even…

Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé singing Baby It’s Cold Outside acted out by children in a posh hotel. So many of my favorite things in one video…

 
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Posted by on November 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Emotional, Impulsive, and Wired

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We’ve all seen the numerous blog posts on annoying Facebook statuses. Some of them are quite clever and make us shout, “RIGHT ON!” or “Wait..I do that. What’s wrong with that?! SMH” Whether we do them or not, we all know someone who does and have an opinion about it.

What is it about the over-shares, cryptic cries for help, or passive aggressive posts that really bugs us? It seems attention-getting or often like public revenge. Things that should be shared with a select few (and even better, in person), are broadcast to hundreds through social media. Basically, it seems immature, and despite privacy settings, there are many people who believe that what we put out there will stay for anyone to find.

This, my friends, is why teenagers and social media are a very bad combination.

Teenagers by their very nature are immature, emotionally charged beings. They live in world between worlds where they are leaving childish games behind while figuring out what it means to be an adult, while at the same time hormones and brain chemistry make logical thought nearly impossible. Whose idea was it to give them a public outlet to air these feelings?

It used to be that if you had a problem with someone you passed a nasty note in class, or had your friends shun them in the hall. If you were annoyed with a member of the opposite sex, they received exaggerated eye rolls or daggers during class, they endured gossip between you and your friends, and maybe they even got a prank or angry phone call later that evening (but you had to be civil long enough to ask Mr. Miller if Brad was available). I suppose there were those who stooped to egging or TP-ing. All actions that are here one minute and gone the next.

With cell phones and social media, a conflict between two people can be texted to hundreds in seconds, or a nasty meme posted to Instagram to be seen and liked by half your high school. Harassment issues have skyrocketed. Boys and girls alike sharing private pictures through massive group texts for the purpose of humiliation. Or a conversation that would have been confined to school hours, or the house phone can continue indefinitely through texting. I’ve had to take phones away from my kids because the person on the other end sent text after text and wouldn’t stop even when asked to. My daughter turned her phone off and when she turned it back on an hour later had 70 new texts from the same person.

I recently read this article on the dangers of teen girls and Instagram. It pointed out how their self-esteem becomes wrapped up in pictures they post and how many likes they receive. It becomes a popularity contest of sorts, with its own currency. The article states: “As they become preteens, research shows that girls’ confidence takes a nosedive. Instagram, then, is a new way for girls to chase the feeling of being liked that eludes so many of them. Instagram becomes a popularity meter and teens learn to manipulate the levers of success.”

The intricate ways teens use these apps for validation astound me. The article didn’t mention the most obvious one: en emoji chart where each emoticon means something like: pretty, fun, spirited, talented, etc. You post the chart on your page and then your friends pick which ones describe you and post it in the comments. I suppose this is harmless enough. I remember the papers we passed around at youth events with your own name at the top. Each person wrote something nice about you, folded it over, and passed it to the next person. The difference? When the paper returned to you, it was for your eyes only. And everyone in the circle participated.

With Instagram, girls are determining their self worth based on the number of positive responses…and all responses are public for everyone to see and judge.

Unfortunately this post does not come with answers. I’m still working through this dilemma. I have three teenagers and all of them use cellphones, and various forms of social media. I monitor their pages, ask to see their texts sporadically, and we have hard talks about what should and should not be posted. But I can’t monitor their emotions. I can’t develop a spreadsheet comparing “Time on Social Media and Effect on Self Esteem and Personal Happiness.”

My sad suspicion would be that it doesn’t come out in their favor.

 
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Posted by on November 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Cats are Neurotic

My husband would say a headline like this should be published in the scientific journal titled, “Duh”.

As you may know from a previous post, we recently acquired a new cat. This cat is doomed to be forever compared to her predecessor – kind of like saying, “why can’t you be more like your brother.” Their personalities couldn’t be more different.

Aloof and confident, Horatio ruled his territory with only a bored glance, but wasn’t afraid to let you know when he needed you. Cleopatra keeps an alert eye on her surroundings at all times. She runs and hides with the slightest hint of movement in her direction and yet she seems to consider me her safe place.

When everyone else has left the house she creeps out of her hiding spot and sneakily peeks at me from behind various vantage points. Then she follows me if I’m moving around the house, until I turn around – at which point she freezes and either looks panicked, or becomes really interested in nonchalantly sniffing something nearby. If I’m sitting reading or typing, she slowly walks over, sniffs the couch, tests its structural integrity with her claws and then climbs up, situating herself in such a way that I can’t possibly move or get anything done.

If I do manage to move or re-situate her, she jumps up, looks at me like all of a sudden this kind, safe, stationary person, became a super scary, unpredictable moving person, and runs away to hide.

Then we start the game all over again.

She’s also a black cat, so the stalking me around the house thing can be a little creepy. Not that I am superstitious…

But in the evenings when all is quiet and my husband and I are relaxing with a book or television, and she climbs up to cuddle in the blanket – this black ball of fur purring in my lap, I realize why pets are such a treat for the soul.

(I also feel a bit like an evil villain as I stroke her fur and hatch my master plan)

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Posted by on November 13, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Branding…or how to fit myself on a business card

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I attended a business networking event today. Not because I have a business to market, but to hear a friend speak.

The networking part of the seminar encouraged business card trading, and when we entered, we placed business cards in a fishbowl for prize drawings. Only one problem with this – I have no business card.

How does one narrow an identity down to 3.5 by 2inches. What do you include or leave out? I have many jobs or identities. The only one I get paid for is teaching. Does that make teaching my business and therefore should go on my business card? (I don’t see many teachers exchanging business cards.)

But many facets of my life or identity are not professional like: mom, pastor’s wife, writer, singer, and so on. These are just as much a part of who I am.

So the question really boils down to branding. What is it about myself that I am trying to market?

To keep it strictly professional, I could say Teacher/Writer. But then I feel the need to qualify…English Teacher? Writing Teacher? Blog Writer? Aspiring Writer? Despairing Writer? (Just kidding on the last one)

(Incidentally my husband often accuses me of overthinking things)

Attending the seminar today made me realize that I needed branding. And if I was serious about being a writer, I needed to claim it and not qualify. I am a literature teacher. I also teach writing which means I study and practice the craft with my students, and write on a regular basis outside the classroom, therefore I am a writer.

Maybe I can fit everything else in fine print around the border, just to be completely honest about who I am.

 
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Posted by on November 11, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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